just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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