I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So vagazzling was a success
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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