need another drink. this is the easiest way
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
