Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize