3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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