sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
