my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
