Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
