Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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