Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
