Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
