The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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