so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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