im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
