Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
God I need to hump something, right now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
