Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
