ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
