Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
