Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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