ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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