i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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