I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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