is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
