you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
