tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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