I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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