just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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