He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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