i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
