The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
