i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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