i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Randomize
