STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
