Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
