dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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