bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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