Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
third nipple confirmed
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
