dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize