is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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