I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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