i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
