She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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