hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
