I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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