If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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