I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
