We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
