one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
