Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
