I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize