only you would photoshop your dick
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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