I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
