i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
