Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
