worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
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