i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
