I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize