No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
