I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
