i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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