do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
