is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
