take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize