My hair reeks of homosexuality.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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