wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
