I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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