I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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