you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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